Stubbing psychological toes

[MyMagicMist]

Me and wife have an electric space heater in the one room of a basement hovel where we currently live. Last night she unplugged it. She said it tripped the fuse/breaker on my Back-Ups electric box.

Further she explained it smelled as though it was burning. Setting here in the room doing nothing, I text her to ask if she wanted me to look at it. Her reply was that she would when she got in from work. She reminded me, "if it still smells like its burning how would you know?"

Sometimes I get so frustrated at feeling so useless. Please note I am not suicidal, still my general cynical depressed in general.

 

[Debinnv]

I'm so sorry, I know the feeling of being useless and it's no damn fun. Lately my hubby has been doing his laundry (like just starts it even after I ask him if he needs some done) Well, he has a lot if issues too. I can STILL do the dang laundry for heavens sake. I know he means well but ya, I still need to have little things I can do to feel somewhat useful. Have you tried telling her you need to be able to do little things so that you CAN feel useful? I don't mean the heater but maybe some other things? Lots of hugs. It's nice to be able to share how we feel here

 

[MyMagicMist]

I'm so sorry, I know the feeling of being useless and it's no damn fun. Lately my hubby has been doing his laundry (like just starts it even after I ask him if he needs some done) Well, he has a lot if issues too. I can STILL do the dang laundry for heavens sake. I know he means well but ya, I still need to have little things I can do to feel somewhat useful. Have you tried telling her you need to be able to do little things so that you CAN feel useful? I don't mean the heater but maybe some other things? Lots of hugs. It's nice to be able to share how we feel here

Well bumbling man I am had woken her yesterday morning, way too damn early. I still tried broaching the subject. But she had worked all day with a guy that we both agree needs his own soap opera staring just him. *chuckles* And that may not be "right" to feel toward someone, then again some do merit such.

I know I'm not "useless". She's told me that she loves the fact all she does ask, I get up and do. I'm even learning to keep ahead a little and not get the grumbles. I used to do the laundry but then she fussed I didn't pre-treat some stains she "saw". And to me some of it did not look stained. But gee, I'm a bumbling man after all. *chuckles*

I kept house for the two years we lived in the apartment. Her house if not spotless was cleaner than 80-95% of all hospitals in CONUS. Back here i don't do any cleaning. As I said to her there would be no reciprocation from her family to help keep it clean. Besides that we've been gone two years, do you think they cleaned? Nope.

it's not my circus as is said and I don't worry about that monkey. she doesn't think I should either. I do though help her in carry our laundry up the hill in the sacks. I help do the laundry with her at the laundromat. I keep our dog fed/watered. I look after myself despite doing much of nothing.

Yes, I reckon it is good to talk sometimes. Then other times well, it doesn't seem helpful. In fact it probably serves to illustrate and give power to the opposite of what a person is trying to express, battling against. *sighs* "Just another runnin day, ho ya!"

 

[MyMagicMist]

Still here. Had to let myself know.

Wed 26 Feb 2020 08:05:11 AM EST - Checking in. Yep, still here.

 

[Rhianne]

Still here. Had to let myself know.

Wed 26 Feb 2020 08:05:11 AM EST - Checking in. Yep, still here.

Good, I like having you about the place. :hug:

 

[MyMagicMist]

Psychosexual effects resulting from delayed, incomplete, or absent puberty

An interesting article regarding KS. This article seems to admit the alleged medical experts got no clue. It sets the tone that further research is need done. If they any clue about what was going on, extra research likely would not need done.

I email the doctor who authored it and answered three of the further research questions. Doubt my response will matter. Seems to the case that I email people like this and get no response back to even acknowledge I got in touch. So as a patient you get to feel like there's no point.

No one cares about an invisible 2.5% of the world's population. What does that reflect then upon the other 97.5% of the world? Gee, do they care about them?

To a large degree it seems so as media is "normalized" for that segment of the population and that segment only. There's no heroes with Kallman syndrome or some other rare genetic disorder. No, we're considered anomalous and weakened freaks. We have to fawn over all the "normal" though to even subsist on scraps.

Inequality? No, just "business as usual" we don't warrant effort because we don't generate enough profit. Although you can be damn sure the pharmaceutical companies reap hilariously exorbitant profits on treatments for us. For example the testosterone I take went from a 1.5 ml bottle which lasted me three months dosing for $25, to a .5 ml bottle that only does last one month if squeezed well by nurse, for $100. This happened in a one month period, no notifications.

I had to nearly fight the FDA representative to get any idea how to stay on it at the time. I wound up going off for nearly two years because it was untenable to get it unless we tried black market, even then the price would have gouged. And this is medicine or "treatment" I'm told will be required "life" long.

Yeah, 'nother day in paradise.

 

[MyMagicMist]

Just off the phone with my mom and now in a chat with a friend I grew up thinking of as a brother.

His mom, step mom, brother are still quarantined. His dad died from Covid 19, or complications from it.

That sh*t needs to go unfuck itself right the f*ck now!

 

[Rhianne]

@5150sick @Huckleberried ^^^^^^^^ ??????

 

[MyMagicMist]

Excuse my deleting posts. Have realized there's no point to engage much if at all here.

 

[5150sick]

Excuse my deleting posts. Have realized there's no point to engage much if at all here.

Yep, not many people are around.
Psych meds suck.
it's like they prescribe sh*t that dulls the IQ instead of the depression.

 

[MyMagicMist]

Yep, not many people are around.
Psych meds suck.
it's like they prescribe sh*t that dulls the IQ instead of the depression.

Yep, can see that and agree. D'oh. Well, fair enough point. So I live and learn.

 

[5150sick]

Yep, can see that and agree. D'oh. Well, fair enough point. So I live and learn.

The problem with psychiatrists is no matter what you show up for you are leaving with some sort of anti depressant.
it's IMPOSSIBLE to get the anxiety medicine without them tacking a few extras on.
all it did was made me dumb enough to barley function.
i think they do it just to f*ck with me.
for some reason they think "zombie" is the correct mode for humans to be in 24/7
I got smart about 10 years ago.
now I avoid their pills.

 

[MyMagicMist]

The problem with psychiatrists is no matter what you show up for you are leaving with some sort of anti depressant.
it's IMPOSSIBLE to get the anxiety medicine without them tacking a few extras on.
all it did was made me dumb enough to barley function.
i think they do it just to f*ck with me.
for some reason they think "zombie" is the correct mode for humans to be in 24/7
I got smart about 10 years ago.
now I avoid their pills.

Well, I've now gone through all the pills they can offer. Prozac they don't want me on because I have a psychotic break with it. I did the whole disassociated sleeping thing. Went to sleep but woke back up as someone else. Far as I knew I was still in bed asleep. No, I had gone out and was patrolling the road on foot.

All they have left to suggest/try me on would be lithium salts. I've seen a few that got on those. Nope, not for me. I'm not taking a chemical lobotomy. That also goes for Thorazine. Not doing either one, at least of my own will.

I used to also face anger issues. So much so that I blacked out. Put someone in ICU for six months once. Didn't remember it until friends started talking about it, even then it wasn't remembering but accepting what they said I did. Can say sincerely I've kicked ass, had mine kicked a bunch too. No pride or shame either way. The point being I got scared doing that.

Got lucky. Had a teacher that did not give up on "her" kids. She was using then "experimental" cognitive behavior modification techniques. She made us each face our fears, our monsters inside. When the school system came after her, she buckled down that much more and fought for us. Her rate of success was about 80-90%. We didn't give up on her either. While we fought our fears and monsters. she was there with us and helping. She gave a sh*t, even if nobody else did, and taught us to give a sh*t too.

But yeah, there's times for me that it's growing more difficult to do that. Makes it worse seeing others not giving a sh*t. And then when you don't expect it, somebody does. So yep, I gotta keep on keeping on.

 

[Vaporjoe]

Well, I've now gone through all the pills they can offer. Prozac they don't want me on because I have a psychotic break with it. I did the whole disassociated sleeping thing. Went to sleep but woke back up as someone else. Far as I knew I was still in bed asleep. No, I had gone out and was patrolling the road on foot.

All they have left to suggest/try me on would be lithium salts. I've seen a few that got on those. Nope, not for me. I'm not taking a chemical lobotomy. That also goes for Thorazine. Not doing either one, at least of my own will.

I used to also face anger issues. So much so that I blacked out. Put someone in ICU for six months once. Didn't remember it until friends started talking about it, even then it wasn't remembering but accepting what they said I did. Can say sincerely I've kicked ass, had mine kicked a bunch too. No pride or shame either way. The point being I got scared doing that.

Got lucky. Had a teacher that did not give up on "her" kids. She was using then "experimental" cognitive behavior modification techniques. She made us each face our fears, our monsters inside. When the school system came after her, she buckled down that much more and fought for us. Her rate of success was about 80-90%. We didn't give up on her either. While we fought our fears and monsters. she was there with us and helping. She gave a sh*t, even if nobody else did, and taught us to give a sh*t too.

But yeah, there's times for me that it's growing more difficult to do that. Makes it worse seeing others not giving a sh*t. And then when you don't expect it, somebody does. So yep, I gotta keep on keeping on.

Covid really knocked CBD for a loop because of all the lockdowns. We are finally coming out of it and moving forward. Its not about inactivity, its about people unable to talk to their doctors on a regular basis in many states because of all the lockdowns. Many places are still shut down pretty hard. Just to get a normal doctors appointment is a solid 30 day wait for me these days. I havn't been able to get a blood test in almost a year!

 

[MyMagicMist]

Two things with CBD for me.

1. It offered a minor bit of help.
2. At $25 for a 15 ml bottle it was too costly.

What help it gave for myself at least, did not seem to merit the excess cost. Although i never discussed it with a doctor. I dabbled with a bottle from a local apothecary to give it a try.

Since it didn't seem to offer too much help, from my misuse or not, I didn't see need to further use or discuss with a doctor. Think I got what was labeled as 1000 mg/ml.

It was from some company named Palmetto something, a tincture which I was told could be vaped, put under tongue. I tried both ways.

Either I messed up, got the wrong kind/strength but my trying it was enough. Be nice it was fool proof and worked potently for everyone. In my case it doesn't, or at least not enough so as for me to consider continual use.

 

[Vaporjoe]

Two things with CBD for me.

1. It offered a minor bit of help.
2. At $25 for a 15 ml bottle it was too costly.

What help it gave for myself at least, did not seem to merit the excess cost. Although i never discussed it with a doctor. I dabbled with a bottle from a local apothecary to give it a try.

Since it didn't seem to offer too much help, from my misuse or not, I didn't see need to further use or discuss with a doctor. Think I got what was labeled as 1000 mg/ml.

It was from some company named Palmetto something, a tincture which I was told could be vaped, put under tongue. I tried both ways.

Either I messed up, got the wrong kind/strength but my trying it was enough. Be nice it was fool proof and worked potently for everyone. In my case it doesn't, or at least not enough so as for me to consider continual use.

I would say yes you paid a lot for that. What exact form are you looking for? Edibles? Flower? Tincture? Vape-able concentrates? What effects are you looking for? Mental? Physical? Sleep? All 3? I find you a legal remedy for just about any symptom - once its dialed in correctly for the user.

 

[MyMagicMist]

Would like a Vape-able concentrate.

Need it for mental. For one thing, to take an edge off. That's from PTSD.

Also for mental in the regards of something to offer me being able to be interested in stuff, keep interest. Need enthusiasm to help push discipline and trained motivation. My brain unfortunately doesn't do that for me.

Used to hunt, fish, track, trap, bowl, play a little basket ball. I've no real interest in any of it any more. Liked to write too, keep losing interest.

And yes, I know that is literally in my head, physically to be factual. Not joking here, my neurons are different, shorter maybe. Been this way from birth.

And yes, masochistic me can admit I need something for pain.

Being honest, can tell you the whole does better for me. Not able to do that though so if CBD can actually offer close, maybe ...?


ETA: Sat 28 Nov 2020 03:25:01 AM EST

Okay, kind of left thinking CBD isn't for me, then. Didn't figure it would be a panacea but anything what could help would be nice. I'm at a point that I know there's no magic curative.

Why expect it from CBD? Well, look at all the hype. And I'm happy it helps those it does. Good for you all, glad it helps. I'm not angry, upset, spiteful here. Maybe a bit disappointed but I'll live.