Anyone else tired of feeling like an addict?

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Mar 2, 2020
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I’ve been smoking for about a year now. I’m a younger guy... 21. I’ve struggled with mild Aspergers.... and I’ve always had problems with emotional regulation due to hypoglycemia that has gotten progressively worse in the past 2 years.

I’ve tried lo-carb... Keto... intermittent fasting... meal prepping... it doesn’t do sh*t. I feel lightheaded an anxious all the time... Like I’m starving... even 30 min after eating.

Then... when I started smoking...and just like that...All of my problems are solved including the food thing. Social anxiety? Who gives a sh*t. Depressed? Not anymore. Hell... it made talking to people actually fun... it literally made me friends.

I had just gotten used to walking around feeling depressed, anxious about everything, and nauseous/gross. I didn’t know anything different. Or at least...this is my interpretation of it... I mean everyone isn’t just walking around feeling like they’re about to fall over right?

All of a sudden I was free... and I could actually function in society.... even if I was goofy/high.

So I pretty much started smoking 24/7. It started out great...now it’s still great but I get maybe 1/4 as high as I used to and it’s a completely different high. I’ve been smoking between $100-$150 in weed every single week...and have blown through a ton of money I don’t have... (borrowing from college fund.) I’m buying black market dab carts with god knows what in them... Because without them... I feel like the only thing I can do is sleep and hope to feel better.

I can budget $400/mo. But this behavior doesn’t feel sustainable... eventually I won’t be able to get high anymore. I won’t be able to work a lot of high-paying jobs (even though I’m in a recreationally legal state). I need to actually fix my hunger problem instead of just masking it. Long term potential health consequences. Dealing with sketchy dealers. Neuro-developmental problems. I almost got arrested for having a dab pen in my car a few months ago.

Say what you want but there is no way walking around with drastically altered brain chemistry 24/7 is good for you long term.

And there is no way buying drugs in some minivan at 1 AM from a dude whose name you don’t know is a good decision

I don’t want to be 30 trying to quit with a 10 year 24/7 tolerance.... and having accomplished nothing...at the same time I feel pretty fucked up without it.... My life has become somewhat centered around it. I feel like an addict.

I’ve tried to quit half a dozen times...but always give in.... and feel glad that I did.

I’m trying to quit again today.

Would love to hear anybody’s input! I can’t be the only one who feels trapped between a rock and a hard place...right?

submitted by /u/Sirman77
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